Come on, you can't really believe I'd put a picture of my cat on the Web, can you? There are computer nerds and then there are total nerds. I had hoped that it would be obvious by now that I wouldn't show the world a photo of my bloody cat. Even if I had one. In fact, I can't stand cats, nor any other animals for that matter, except maybe sloths and slow lorrises, which seem to have developed a survival strategy we could learn from. I'm none too keen on people either.

As consolation for the lack of a photo of a cat, here's a photo of the picturesque Cornish village where I live and write my poetry and throw my pots.

Well, OK, it's a photo of a picturesque Cornish village where someone else lives and thousands of holidaymakers wander about eating fish and chips and Cornish pasties. This is in fact where I live:

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Not quite so picturesque, huh? And it really does rain all the time. Oh, and my poetry's crap and the only pots I throw are at cats in the garden. But at least most of the holidaymakers just pass through.

If you'd like to explore the area in more detail, just click the map below. That will take you to Microsoft Expedia's site, where you'll find loads of information about Cornwall:

Map by

www.expediamaps.com

You might feel I've been pretty negative about the place. To be honest that's just to put people off as I'd prefer to keep the place to myself. Within a five mile radius of where I live, there's some of the most beautiful scenery you could ever come across. If you've read this far through this crap, then you won't be bored even in Cornwall.